Veeresh: Bliss Beyond Fear
Humaniversity Psychology
CHAPTER 21:
Change and the Choices Available
1. The Challenge 2. Many Paths To The Mountain Top 3. First, Know Which Mountain 4. What Is Emotional Health? 5. Strategies For health 6. Living In The Flow, Living From The Heart 7. Great! But Who Wants To Change, Really?
Change - at least change that leads to happiness - is something like the 'holy grail' of psychotherapy. After all, a client does not come to a therapist unless he desires some kind of change or improvement to the quality of his life. There is a problem, or at least a symptom, that requires attention and resolution; a change from problem to solution, a negative into a positive. There is change and there is meaningful change. Consider the following possibilities available to someone who wants to change his life:
- work harder, bury the pain, and try to get ahead;
- stop working altogether and take time out 'to smell the roses';
- join a religious cult;
- take a secret lover;
- divorce;
- rob a bank;
- experiment with drugs;
- move to a different country;
- start yelling and screaming at people and let off steam;
- have a baby;
- go to a psychic;
- try group therapy and discover the real you;
- join the army and become a real man/woman;
- take up art classes.
Some of these moves may indeed lead to helpful new directions in life. On the other hand, it may just be an avoidance - change for the sake of change - the psychological equivalent of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Meaningful change requires that a healing takes place and a new source of nourishment is established.
The challenge facing the psychologist is in three parts: firstly, to diagnose the real problem; secondly, to identify an appropriate solution; thirdly, to put the perceived solution into a practical strategy and into motion so that it brings about the desired result in an effective and efficient manner.
That is the logic of the situation. But human beings are not always logical, especially if they are in crisis. Change must take the heart into account - the individual's will to change; his commitment; his psychological capacity to take small steps or big steps; his emotional needs; his capacity for love; and his vision of what happiness is for him. Here is a preview of some of the issues raised in the following chapters:
1. Successful change means doing something new or doing something in a new way. It requires an adaptation and a move into previously unexplored territory. For instance, the loss of a loved one or a career is a life-changing event; the emotional disturbance that it can bring is not always solved by the finding of a new job. The death of a loved one is something that cannot be replaced by a simple change in external circumstances. Such events demand an inner or psychological adaptation.
2. The potential for change, no matter what form it takes, rests first and foremost with the person seeking help. No matter how expert and experienced the therapist is, change can only happen if the client wants it to happen.
"You can turn the light on
and you can turn it off.
You are the one
who has the finger
to turn it off,
accept that.
It is not your mother,
nor your spiritual master,
nor anything outside you,
that switched that button.
Have the courage to turn it on or off,
and accept whichever way you want it,
light or dark...
it is always your choice."3. Even when a person is fully committed to making a change in his psychological life, there is a bewildering range of choices to make:
- One person who has lost his job may indeed find a happy solution by obtaining another job.
- A second person who loses his job may discover, looking back on things, that he has had a history of employment difficulties based on his attitude to authority figures - he needs to change his attitude.
- A third person who loses a job may discover that this experience adds a pressure to an already fragile relationship and that the main problem was the relationship itself rather than the employment.
- A fourth person who loses a job, may discover that he is sitting on previously unexplored creativity and that this event catapults them into a completely new and more fulfilling direction in life.
Accordingly, different people, even those dealing from the same events, may require different changes.
21.2 MANY PATHS TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP
So far, this book has highlighted some of the psychological knots that people get tied up in, but the question arises: What to do to become free of these knots? Do you analyze the knot to see how it is constructed? Do you undo the knot, strand by strand, in order to return it to its original state? Do you destroy the knot by hacking it to pieces; or, do you ignore the knot, walk away and find a new piece of string? Different schools of psychology have evolved to try to deal with this challenge.(1)
a) Analysis
Psychoanalysis relies heavily on the analysis of past events in order to generate understanding and insights. As helpful as it can be, sceptics would say it has a ceiling - it does not expect or hope for anything more than a level of healthy neurosis. Furthermore, as indicated in the previous chapter, psychoanalysis is probably not the best tool for change in the case of personality disorder. Nevertheless, as explained in Chapter 2, some Freudian principles are integrated in the techniques of Humaniversity Therapy.
b) The Behavioural Approach
A second line of development in the evolution of modern Western psychology is often described as Learning Theory. This approach has given rise to cognitive and behavioural therapies that aim to bring about healthy change by way of modification to thinking and behavioural patterns. These forms of therapy are relatively practical; they may involve some analysis of the past, but mainly focus on the formation of new habits. One possible shortcoming of this approach is that it does not pay sufficient regard to the heart - the emotional or spiritual expression of the client and may therefore not bring about all the changes that are truly needed. However, behavioural psychology is one key component of Humaniversity Psychology.
c) Getting the Best out of Life
A third strand in the evolution of modern Western psychology is sometimes referred to as the Human Potential Movement. As the name suggests, it explores the possibility that there is something more than the simple exchange of one behaviour for another, or one thought pattern for another. It explores the possibility that human beings are capable of psychological evolution, of going beyond simple day-to-day functioning and problem-solving, to the realisation of ever-expanding possibilities.
From this perspective, psychology is not simply problem focused; rather, there is a recognition that people are frequently faced with psychological challenges and boundaries and that the very process of human life involves personal growth and exploration and expansion beyond the imagined limits or boundaries. This change process is sometimes referred to as self-actualisation. This path goes beyond simple change and aims for transformation.
d) The Existential and Spiritual Approaches
At the outer edge of the Human Potential Movement, psychology begins to blend with spirituality. Transpersonal Psychology addresses directly the psychological aspects of spiritual growth. Human change is regarded as an existential issue. Change is no longer limited to a simple re-programming of behaviour or a management of mind and emotions. There is an invitation to go beyond transformation to a point of transcendence. Existential schools of thought, have different words for the types of change that are possible. One word that frequently arises is enlightenment. This is often regarded as the highest point of psychological and spiritual evolution.(2)
e) The Phoenix House Approach
People who are presented with immediate, practical, disturbing and sometimes tragic circumstances, are compelled to make the changes which are most appropriate in those circumstances, whereas the person who has a personality disorder for instance, is not necessarily equipped to engage in the spiritual search for enlightenment.
"In Phoenix House they did not use the term enlightenment. They talked about 'being comfortable'. It means that your needs are fulfilled and you are balanced with your society. The expression originated from Chuck Dederich, the leader of Synanon.
The goal in Phoenix House was to learn to lead your life - to be comfortable - without using drugs. The search was about finding what makes you comfortable. If you want to be comfortable, you have to confront the issues that stop you from being comfortable. If you want to be enlightened, you have to confront issues that stop you from being enlightened."
f) Freedom or Control?
There is also a question of how change is encouraged in the therapeutic process. Some schools of thought are relatively directive such as Casriel's New Identity Process, Glasser's Reality Therapy, and Mowrer's Integrity Therapy. In such processes, the client is guided along a clearly defined path with the specific aim of inducing or even accelerating change.
Other therapeutic approaches are non-directive. They are based on the philosophical principle that it is unethical to presume or intrude onto the client's personal evolution by attempting to bring about a pre-conceived or controlled outcome. In this process, therapy seeks to ensure that any change that is brought about, is purely of the client's own making instead of something which is imposed on the client by the therapist.
Where then is Humaniversity Psychology in this sea of possibilities?
21.3 FIRST, KNOW WHICH MOUNTAIN
It is easy to become lost in the world of therapy, going from therapist to therapist, from technique to technique, searching here, searching there... but for what? Before beginning any process of change it is essential for the traveller to know just what it is that he wants to change.
So far the journey has been a story of difficulty, suffering, isolation and pain, perhaps even a numbness, where not even the pain is felt anymore. Until recently the Western approach to medical and psychological problems has been to focus on the illness and a tendency towards killing the pain, in the belief that this solves or removes the problem. Perhaps because psychiatry evolved out of the medical profession, there was a consciousness that tended to be more focussed upon mental illness as a reality rather than mental health as an ideal. Even today, the highly authoritative publications such as the ICD-10 and the DSM-IV, which categorise over 300 types of mental disorder, are not matched by any equivalent publication that categorises all the possible levels of health and happiness.
In recent decades, partly because of the positivity of the Human Potential Movement, there has been a shift in consciousness towards a vision of psychological health. This vision, and the definition of mental health, is still taking shape. However, even Sigmund Freud, who was quite pessimistic about the possibility of human happiness,(3) did nevertheless have an opinion on the ingredients needed for basic emotional health.
It is important therefore for the traveller to have an understanding of emotional health, so that he has some sense of direction in his journey. In the same way that a cork is naturally buoyant upon the surface of the water, emotional health is that point at which the human being is psychologically buoyant. With buoyancy, he can swim.
So then, the direction emerges: First, get healthy and from there, find out what is needed to get happy.
21.4 WHAT IS EMOTIONAL HEALTH?
The Oxford Dictionary defines health as 'soundness of body, mind or spirit'. Something is said to be sound if it is 'based on facts, or good grounds... solid'.
You will recall from earlier chapters that the concept of healing involves wholeness. For this reason Humaniversity Psychology regards health not as the soundness of body, mind, or soul, but the soundness of body and mind and soul. This makes sense. In cases of neurosis, phobia and addiction an enormous amount of psychic energy is devoted to one limited aspect of being, at the expense of a healthy development of the total organism; psychic energy is too focused on one concern and disappears down the sink of the particular neurosis, phobia or addiction. There needs to be balance and integrity so that life energy is available to the entire being. What is needed then is a sound and basic practical plan for the management of psychological health.
One frame of reference used by Yuson-Sánchez is the work of Sigmund Freud. He summarises Freud's criteria for health in three main points:
"One of the criteria is that you must be happy in your work. If you are not happy in your work, it's like having a cancer inside, upsetting you all the time. He also said, you have to have loving relationships. The third thing he said is that you have to accept yourself, your sexuality and who you are. If you fulfil those three criteria, you are healthy.
If you are not happy in any of those three areas, you cannot be a healthy neurotic according to Freud. You are always going to be bugging somebody about your dreams, about your mother sitting on you, your father stepping on you, or your brothers and sisters neglecting you. You make your life into a drama. If you are not happy about yourself, do something about it. If you don't have any relationships, get them. If you are not happy in your work, change it. I like those criteria, because they are practical. It's not something mysterious with lots of secret points on how to be healthy."
You will also recall from previous chapters, that Humaniversity Psychology is influenced by many of the principles used in therapeutic communities. However, therapeutic communities are largely dealing with the person who exhibits personality disorder, rather than the healthy neurotic. Therefore, it may be interesting to know whether professional work in this field has produced its own point of view on emotional health. Casriel for instance describes an emotionally healthy person as being:
1. Free from self-destructive behaviour patterns; able to be emotionally open; able to express any basic emotion at will;
2. Able to initiate and maintain close and meaningful relationships; able to terminate relationships if the price is too high;
3. Able to function productively in relation to his potential.
Over all, Freud's criteria tend to be expressed more in terms of goals or needs, whereas Casriel's criteria are expressed more in terms of skills. However, both sets of criteria for emotional health seem to consist of three basic elements:
1. A healthy regard for self;
2. Meaningful and satisfying relationship with others;
3. Some avenue for productivity and creativity, which could be described as a relationship to the world.
You will also recall that these three elements appear in the mandala model, first discussed in Chapter 6. Each of these aspects is now discussed in more detail.
a) Personal Health
Humaniversity Therapy uses many types of bodywork, sometimes known as bio-functional therapies, as part of its holistic approach, but they all have three components in common:
1. Move the body;
2. Breathe;
3. Make a sound.When all three components are in play at the same time, then mind, emotions, and body can begin to flow together. It is possible to dance, for instance, without making a sound; however, with sound, more energy is released and there is a greater chance of connection and congruency with emotional states. Another person may be visibly engaged in an activity, but his breath may be shallow or inadequate in some way. The co-ordination of all three of these elements encourages a sense of integrity and authenticity within the body, and co-ordination between the body and the mind.
Humaniversity therapeutic techniques also emphasise the need for correct stance, general posture, and flexibility. Physical health is encouraged through a mixture of appropriate diet, bioenergetics, martial arts, dance, massage and a synthesis of Eastern health exercises. Overall, the individual is encouraged to rediscover the Pleasure Principle - to discover what things give him pleasure and to accept those pleasures as valid needs and desires. It is important for the healing of a person who has experienced a lot of emotional pain, to learn how to accept and integrate pleasure, including sexual pleasure, as a valid and important part of everyday life.
As far as possible, all Humaniversity therapeutic processes seek to generate physical and emotional awareness, the ability to express oneself physically and emotionally, the capacity to integrate and accept all that is revealed and... a pleasurable outcome.
b) Satisfying Relationships
Humaniversity Psychology encourages education in the complete spectrum of human relatedness. Participants are taught how to communicate simple information about themselves, how to touch and to hug, how to express friendship, how to be intimate with or without the sexual connection, how to engage in practical or working relationships, and how to resolve conflicts. Since all of the Humaniversity's therapeutic processes involve participation with at least one other person (and usually several), there are endless opportunities to experiment with and learn from all kinds of relationships. The various forms of techniques and processes are discussed in more detail in the book, Humaniversity Therapy.
In the mandala, friendship is located in the centre and is interconnected with all other elements within the mandala. If it is not already clear by now, friendship is not limited to a sense of light-hearted camaraderie.
Humaniversity Psychology teaches friendship in all its dimensions: the forming of friendships, emotional intimacy, being able to function as a friend in the most difficult of circumstances, being able to give and receive, and being able to celebrate love with awareness, sensitivity, and responsibility. Humour and fun are also important aspects of a healthy relationship. For the person who has great difficulty forming relationships in his life, it can easily appear that relationship is something of an obstacle course, a puzzle that has to be solved. Humaniversity Psychology teaches that friendships don't always have to be 'serious'. They can be lively, sexy, filled with humour and fun. A large part of life at the Humaniversity is dedicated to the enjoyment of relationships. In fact, friendship is regarded as the best means of 'Working with People for a Better World'.
c) Creative Work
The Humaniversity integrates practical work and creativity within its lifestyle, so that participants have the opportunity to find the type of work that suits them most. In the Humaniversity community, the resident has the opportunity to engage in a wide range of working activities. He not only learns how to be productive and creative, he also learns how to do this in co-operation with others.
In terms of Humaniversity Psychology, a person cannot be truly productive and creative in his work, unless he has a good relationship with other people. It is possible to work alone in isolation, but unless there is a sense of relatedness to other people, that work is not likely to be satisfying; for instance, it is possible that an artist, such as Vincent van Gogh, may produce work that other people later came to regard as brilliant. However, if that work is not accepted or appreciated in his lifetime - as in his case - he may become emotionally isolated. A computer programmer may have the capacity to solve the most complex problems, but unless he is able to relate his work to other people, his sense of purpose or fulfilment will be fairly limited.
d) Values
Yuson-Sánchez submits that if a person has a clear and healthy value system, then his work will naturally fall into line with that value system. Ideally, his value system and his work will aim to make a positive social contribution:
"The more you discover what your values are - how you are going to conduct your life - how you want to help other people - your value systems are going to fall into line with what comes naturally.
If you were God, you would want a beautiful planet; you would not want ugliness and sickness. That is natural, and that is going to be your value system."
21.6 LIVING IN THE FLOW, LIVING FROM THE HEART
As with any area of psychology, it is possible to develop long, complicated theories about human nature. Yuson-Sánchez always attempts to take the apparently complex and express it in simple practical terms. Boiling everything down to its essence, here is what he has to say on emotional health:
"... Take some time and complete the following three statements:
1. What turns me on sexually is...
2. My ideal relationship is...
3. If I had the choice to do any job, I would...Answer these three questions for yourself and you have eliminated five years of psychoanalysis and mindfuck! By the time you get through saying this and sharing it, you won't need therapists any more, you won't need groups any more, you won't need to meditate any more."
When the body, the mind, the emotions and the spirit are in alignment, a new energy emerges; it is a synthesis of all of them and superior to any one of them. It is a kind of new intelligence that takes into account all aspects of being. In Humaniversity Psychology this state of a being is often described as 'living from the heart'.
When a person is living from the heart, he becomes in tune with himself, in tune and sensitive to the needs of other people, and highly aware of the practical tasks and priorities that need to be addressed. All the different streams within his being start to flow into one river of consciousness and living itself, takes on the feeling of a flow.
When a person focuses on the positive goals of emotional health, all his psychic energy can start to flow in that direction. In the healing process, a person can start to feel more energised and optimistic, because now he sees a solution, whereas before there was only a problem.
21.7 GREAT!
BUT WHO WANTS TO CHANGE REALLY?So far, so good. The traveller now has a sense of direction, but the challenge of change can be quite daunting. Is all that effort really worth it? Even getting started looks like a big effort after all the struggling so far. Very often there is a strong desire to remove the cause of pain but when it becomes clear that a person has to change himself, then there can be doubt, hesitation, and a collapse of will power.
Even a powerful engine needs a spark to bring it to life and it is sometimes not enough to have a plan of action even if it is a good plan. There needs to be a motivation or inspiration to change. For this reason, it is important in any understanding of human psychology to know the agents or catalysts of change. These are discussed in the following chapter.
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